We’re a week into 2023, and I’m already exhausted.
我希望是because I started an ambitious new year fitness plan. But, no, I’ve been glued to the couch watching the ongoing shenanigans in Congress like everyone else.
For anyone who has been in a coma the past week, a quick review:
From Tuesday through Friday, the 118th Congress had been trying to elect a speaker of the House to succeed Nancy Pelosi. Rep. Kevin McCarthy, R-Bakersfield, lost on 14 ballots before being elected early Saturday, Jan. 7, with nearly two dozen members of his own party — including far-right Freedom Caucus membersLauren Boebertof Colorado and Matt Gaetz of Florida — voting against him.
Though McCarthy had offered more and more concessions, he kept losing — yet continued to seek the job. This created what felt like a free-for-all in the chamber, a scene somewhere between an Andy Cohenreality show和初中的自助餐厅。
I enjoy trash television as much as the next person. But as a citizen, I’m worried. All this time spent on Republican infighting should be spent actually governing the country. If this is a sign of things to come in the next two years of this Congress, I’m either going to have to start praying or break my Dry January pledge early.
So grab a drink; you may need one. Here are some of the lowlights from the four episodes — sorry, the four days — of “Who Wants To Be Speaker of the House?”
Rep.@AOC(D-NY) is speaking with Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ), who infamously posted an anime video of him killing her with a sword.pic.twitter.com/k6jUqUhYEj
— The Recount (@therecount)January 3, 2023
You talkin’ to me?
Many viewers were rightly confused seeing Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York and Rep. Paul Gosar of Arizona in conversation. After all, in 2021, Gosar posted an animated video that depicted him killing Ocasio-Cortez, so it’s not like they’re besties. AOC told the Independent that Gosar asked her whether Democrats might lower the threshold for the speaker vote. Her response? “Absolutely not.”
BREAKING: George Santos just had his name called twice on the floor, and didn't respond. He seemed to MISS the Speaker vote as a result.
SERIOUS QUESTION: Is George Santos even his real name?pic.twitter.com/Ds0qLK79GJ
— Billy Baldwin (@BillyBaldwin)January 4, 2023
Will the real George Santos please stand up?
The newly elected New York representative has been a major news topic since several claims about his education and business experience, as well as how and when his mother died, have been called into question or proved false. During one roll call, Santos seemed not to immediately recognize his own name as it was called, leading some to speculate that George Santos might not be his real name at all.
Pelosi: Pleased as punch
The former speaker has said publicly that she’s proud all Democrats have backed their new party leader, Rep. Hakeem Jeffries of New York, in their votes. But what else must be going through her mind as she observes these days of dysfunction? During the insurrection at the Capitol two years ago, we learned (thanks to daughter Alexandra’sdocumentary on her mom)that Pelosi wanted to punch former President Donald Trump. Surely there’s someone she’d like to punch for this debacle.
SIKE!!!!https://t.co/Tt35BZhXfx
— Maxwell Alejandro Frost (@MaxwellFrostFL)January 3, 2023
Rep. Maxwell Frost calls ‘sike’
Democrat Maxwell Frost of Florida, 25, made history when he became the first Generation Z member elected to the House. On Jan. 1, he’d tweeted his excitement at being sworn in two days later. But after Jan. 3 ended with no speaker, and no way to be sworn in, he added the word “sike!” (“psych”) to his message. While I was happy to know people younger than myself still use the term, I worry whether he’ll want to continue in politics given this chaotic introduction.
I’ve got my popcorn ready.pic.twitter.com/UKmWhMabbO
— Robin Kelly (@RepRobinKelly)January 3, 2023
Root, root, root for your own team
Are we at a sporting event? I ask because the constant cheering and jeering in the House chamber feels more appropriate for a football game, or maybe a WWE wrestling match. Adding to the stadium mentality were Democratic Reps. Ted Lieu of Torrance (Los Angeles County) and Robin Kelly of Illinois, who munched on popcorn while watching their Republican colleagues devour each other.
Matt Gaetz (… that’s the joke)
Watching the Florida Republican repeatedly nominate former President Trump for speaker was among the most eye-rolling, yet laugh-out-loud, moments of the past few days. Was it just a stunt, or does he really have such an unhealthy man-crush on Trump? But things turned physical Friday evening after Gaetz voted “present” on the 14th vote and Republican Rep. Mike Rogers of Alabama lunged at him, causing fellow Republican Rep. Richard Hudson of North Carolina to grab Rogers and put his hand over his mouth. The near-altercation was somewhere between a pub brawl and a catfight, which is fitting because Gaetz has played the entire process like a soap opera villain.
Does Kevin McCarthy have some kind of kink?
Given that he kept putting himself up for a vote he repeatedly lost, I had to wonder whether McCarthy found some enjoyment in being repeatedly humiliated. I’m not kink-shaming; as adult film actor and podcast hostKristofer Westononce advised me about the Folsom Street Fair: “Don’t yuck someone’s yum.” Still, did he have to involve all of us in his fetish?
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