Netflix’s ‘The Perfect Match’ shows the power dynamics of dating

新的相亲节目汇集了前比赛ants of "Too Hot to Handle" and "Sexy Beast" in hopes they finally find true love.

On "The Dating Game," a contestant asked three "candidate" questions prepared by the show's staff and picked the most interesting one, then the matched pair embarked on a night on the town or an expense-paid trip to an exotic place.

Photo: ABC Photo Archives/Disney General Entertainment Content via Getty Images

When I was 9 or 10, I used to watch “The Dating Game,” and when a young woman would ask a question to one of her three prospective dates on the other side of a partition, I’d think, “How would I answer that question?” That is, if I were really old, like 25.

Some five decades later, I have watched the various Netflix dating shows in much the same spirit. What would I do in this situation? How many pushups, for example, could I do with a woman sitting on my back? Not today, of course, but if I were really young,like 25.

These are interesting shows. Yes, they’re awful, too, like semi-comic versions of the last days of Pompeii. But they can be quite interesting in terms of human nature and power dynamics. Half the time I sit there knowing exactly what these people should do, while cringing as they do exactly what they shouldn’t.

For instance, why would any man in his right mind make any effort to be in a relationship with a woman who would say this? “The people I date are usually obsessed with me, and that’s what I like most about them.”

Yet, that’s what several guys do on Netflix’s “The Perfect Match,” which debuted with four episodes on Valentine’s Day.

Francesca Farago in "Perfect Match."

Photo: Netflix

The woman in question is Francesca Farago, one of the contestants, who also said this about herself, while petting her long dark hair: “I’m cute, I have great boobs, I’m great in bed, and I’m super sexy.” (Sorry, but if you’ve been around the block even once, you’d know that at least three of the four things she’s claiming aren’t even true.)

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"The Perfect Match"(TV-MA) premieres first four episodes Tuesday, Feb. 14, on Netflix, with new episodes debuting every week on Tuesdays.

“The Perfect Match” takes place over 12 episodes, each around 50 minutes in length, with contestants who are all veterans of previous reality dating shows, like “Too Hot to Handle” and “Sexy Beast.” It starts with five men and five women, who pair off at the end of the evening and each go off to a bedroom suite, where they spend the night with each other. In most cases, the two don’t have sex.

The next night, two more men are brought into the group, so it’s seven guys and five women. The women choose which of the five they want, and two guys are eliminated. The night after that, two extra women are brought in. The men choose, and two women are eliminated.

This goes on, night after night — seemingly into infinity — while during the day there are little contests to see how well the couples work together.

Sharron and Rhonda, moments away from an infraction, in "Too Hot to Handle." Photo: Courtesy of Netflix/Aline Arruda/Netflix

Some of what’s shown on “The Perfect Match” is distinct to the current generation, such as people constantly asserting that they’re the best and that they’re going to win, no matter what. If anybody ever talked like that even as recently as 1990, they would have had a net thrown over them. They’d have been considered a deluded egomaniac, while in 2023 that’s par for the course.

Take contestant Anne-Sophie, who says something to the effect that she’s met a lot of guys but none that has made her “feel like a queen.” Hmm, wonder why not? Maybe because she’snot a queen?(She should watch “The Crown,” also on Netflix. Feeling like a queen is overrated.)

Still, some of the emotions on “The Perfect Match” are timeless. I’m amazed at how, even in this artificial setting, people can actually get their feelings hurt. And despite the ridiculousness of the premise — that somehow, through this process, these people will find their perfect match — it does seem to work, at least in one case. It’s even touching.

Ines Tazi (left), Joey Sasso and Kariselle Snow in "Perfect Match."

Photo: Netflix

So is it real? Are these people having actual feelings, or are they performing for the camera?

I think most of it is real, and in a way that wouldn’t have been possible in the era of “The Dating Game” or even of the original “The Love Connection” (1983-1994). Before smartphones, before video was everywhere, people were shy. They’d freeze up on camera. Even when they’d show a little onscreen bluster, they’d soon back off, embarrassed.

Now we have a generation that is never embarrassed, that has grown up sharing every thought and intimate moment of their lives on social media. They grew up with YouTube, Instagram and TikTok, grooming themselves as public personalities before anyone ever heard of them. As a result, they can relax and be themselves on camera, and we can actually see them as they go about the rituals of bonding and mating.

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Reach Mick LaSalle: mlasalle@sfchronicle.com

  • Mick LaSalle
    Mick LaSalle

    Mick LaSalle is the film critic for the San Francisco Chronicle, where he has worked since 1985. He is the author of two books on pre-censorship Hollywood, "Complicated Women: Sex and Power in Pre-Code Hollywood" and "Dangerous Men: Pre-Code Hollywood and the Birth of the Modern Man." Both were books of the month on Turner Classic Movies and "Complicated Women" formed the basis of a TCM documentary in 2003, narrated by Jane Fonda. He has written introductions for a number of books, including Peter Cowie's "Joan Crawford: The Enduring Star" (2009). He was a panelist at the Berlin Film Festival and has served as a panelist for eight of the last ten years at the Venice Film Festival. His latest book, a study of women in French cinema, is "The Beauty of the Real: What Hollywood Can Learn from Contemporary French Actresses."