Review: ‘Countdown’ offers killer app not worth the time to download

Elizabeth Lail stars as a nurse trying to outlive a killer app in “Countdown.”照片:STX电影

The one thing you can say about “Countdown” is that the title is entirely accurate. Almost from the moment it starts, you’re checking your watch waiting for the closing credits to come up.

The film (not to be confused in any way with Robert Altman’s 1968 “mission to the moon” opus of the same name) takes its title from an in-story app that predicts your exact time of death when downloaded, and then goes to work really hard to make sure it meets that deadline. Don’t try to delete it, and don’t try to change your fate. It’s like Waze with an attitude problem.

We’re given a firsthand window into the app’s evil workings at the outset when teens at a party drunkenly download it, with tragedy predictably ensuing. Ah, where would horror movies be without drunken teenagers unleashing forces man wasn’t meant to know?

Written and directed by Justin Dec, “Countdown” is populated by a cast of familiar faces from television, headed by Elizabeth Lail (star of the Lifetime series “You”). She plays Quinn, a nurse who downloads the aforementioned app out of curiosity only to find she has less than two years remaining on this mortal coil. Even more inconvenient, the app follows her to a new device when she tries to get rid of her old phone, and no matter what she does it keeps buzzing with annoying push notifications letting her know the clock is still ticking.

Elizabeth Lail checks how much time she has left in “Countdown.”照片:STX电影

“Countdown” could just as easily be called “Jump Scare: The Movie” for the many ways it wheels out that hoariest of scare tropes to keep the audience wound up. This is the kind of movie where suspension of disbelief is so battered that you’re actively picking apart the internal logic as you watch. While you can appreciate the filmmakers’ attempt to imbue some semblance of verisimilitude via a tortured biblical backstory, gamely exposited by a “hip” priest played by P.J. Byrne, it’s a lot of info to have to take in for what’s ultimately not a lot of payoff.

话虽如此,值得一提的是,Lail是一个具有很大希望的吸引力。她还为至少提供了一定程度的代理权,在很大程度上避免诉诸太多的“最终女孩”陈词滥调。乔丹·卡洛韦(Jordan Calloway)(来自CW的“黑色闪电”)也像马特(Matt)一样出色,他在那个DARN APP告诉他他的时间也几乎已经结束了。(也很高兴看到彼得·弗基内利(Peter Facinelli)扮演他的著名角色的20年著名版本,这是“不能等待”的乔克角色。)

Jordan Calloway, in “Countdown,” plays Matt, who has been told by a countdown app that his time to live is limited.照片:STX电影

在几周前的“ jexi”之间,现在,十月最终成为了关于恐怖软件的坏电影的绝佳月份。当然,人们可以说,这些电影的存在表明了我们社会对我们生活中智能手机普遍存在日益增长的焦虑,因为它们的存在被证明更加有害。不幸的是,没有一个项目都以有意义的,超凡的方式来设法利用这种集体焦虑,而是以廉价的笑声和廉价的恐惧而定居。

And that, too, would be totally fine if what we’re left with wasn’t a dollar-store “Final Destination” riff. Indeed, there’s something faintly infuriating about the decision to insert a blatant sequel tease just before the credits roll, as if threatening the audience for having had the temerity to sit through the entirety of the thing. Given all that we’ve seen up to that point, it feels both unearned and mildly insulting. It’s hard to imagine anyone will be counting down for that.

K“Countdown”:Horror. Directed by Justin Dec. Starring Elizabeth Lail, Jordan Calloway and Peter Facinelli.Theaters and showtimes.(PG-13. 90 minutes.)

  • Zaki Hasan
    Zaki HasanZaki Hasan is a Bay Area writer.