The Golden Globes’ return was too serious — with some fun, touching moments

Host Jerrod Carmichael speaks onstage at the 80th Annual Golden Globe Awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on Tuesday, Jan. 10, in Beverly Hills.Photo: Rich Polk / NBC via Getty Images

The Golden Globes showon Tuesday, Jan. 10, was the third weird one in a row. But it was less strange than its predecessors.

The 2021 ceremony took place during the height of COVID, so nominees sat on their living room couches, wearing tuxedos and evening gowns and accepting their awards over Zoom. Then in 2022,没有Globes telecast at all. NBC suspended the show due to controversy surrounding the lack of Black members in the Globes’ ruling body, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

By that standard, this year’s ceremony was almost normal, in that there was an actual telecast and there were no masks in sight. Everyone seemed to behave. There weren’t the usual drunken celebrities making slighting remarks about the HFPA. No one seemed to want to kick an organization when it was down, other than what was scripted in comedianJerrod Carmichael’s opening monologue.

On the contrary, the 80th anniversary show seemed like an effort to present the Globes as a prestigious awards show and the HFPA as a respectable organization. Yet, the Globes have never been respectable — that’s their appeal. Rememberthe pre-COVID good old days, with celebrities drinking themselves into a mood of boisterous contempt, as the major awards were invariably given to all the wrong movies?

That is the Globes trifecta:drunken celebrities, contempt for the hosts and blatantly wrong choices. Without all three, you can’t have an effective ceremony.

Golden Globes 2023: Here’s the list of winners

Colin Farrell (left), Kerry Condon, Barry Keoghan, Martin McDonagh, Brendan Gleeson, Graham Broadbent and Peter O’Brien accept the Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy award for “The Banshees of Inisherin.” Photo: Rich Polk / NBC via Getty Images

Fortunately, they got at least part of the waywith a bizarre list of winners:“The Banshees of Inisherin,”a comedy with no laughs, won best picture in the musical or comedy category. Colin Farrell won best actor (musical or comedy) for his fairly routine performance in that film, and writer-directorMartin McDonaghwon best screenplay for a script that played as though he were making it up as he went along.

By the way, guess who won best actor in a drama:奥斯丁管家won for“Elvis.”But that was actually kind of a musical, wasn’t it? MeanwhileCate Blanchettwon best actress (drama) for“Tár,”which only goes to show that sometimes the HPFA honors the right performance.

“The Fabelmans”was also singled out for top honors, snatching up best picture (drama) and best director for Steven Spielberg. It was hard to mind; after all, the pleasure Spielberg has given people over the last half century — ever since the TV movie “Duel” in 1971 — it’s not an outrage to see him pick up an award for the wrong movie. All the same, “The Fabelmans” is his weakest film in 20 years.

The show, overall, was also kind of flat, with Carmichael acting as the laid-back host. Yet, every so often, the show sprang to life.

Eddie Murphy accepted the Cecil B. DeMille Award for outstanding contributions to entertainment. Photo: Rich Polk / Associated Press

Eddie Murphy got off one of the best jokes of the night. In accepting the Cecil B. DeMille Award for outstanding contributions to entertainment, he said he would enumerate the three things a novice needed to do to make it in Hollywood. The first two items were serious suggestions. The third was “to keep Will Smith’s wife’s name out of your f—ing mouth,” echoing what Smith shouted at Chris Rock beforelast year’s infamous Oscars slap.

Regina Hall was equally funny in a spontaneous moment. After announcing Kevin Costner the winner of best actor in a television series for “Yellowstone,” she read off the teleprompter that Costner couldn’t be there because the weather was keeping him “sheltering in place” at his home in Santa Barbara. Hall couldn’t conceal her surprise and skepticism at Costner’s excuse.

“He’s stuck in Santa Barbara — let’s pray, everyone,” she said, laughing.

She eventually recovered and added that her thoughts were with those affected by the storms wreaking havoc throughout California.

Regina Hall presents an award at the Golden Globes.Photo: Getty Images

Another highlight was the acceptance speech of Jennifer Coolidge, who has become a beloved national institution for her performance on the HBO series“The White Lotus.”She won a supporting actress award for her performance and went on a long, funny riff about her career. (In other TV news, Oakland native Zendaya won best actress in a drama series award for her turn on “Euphoria” but was not present to accept the statuette.)

Jennifer Coolidge accepts thebest supporting actress award in a limited or anthology series or television filmfor “The White Lotus.” Photo: Rich Polk / NBC via Getty Images

It has been said that the Golden Globes are the harbinger of the Oscars, but I doubt they will be this year, because most of the choices were just too peculiar. However,Ke Huy Quanall but guaranteed at least a supporting actor Oscar nomination with his charming and heartfelt acceptance speechfor supporting actor (musical or comedy) in“Everything Everywhere All at Once.”

“I was raised to never forget where I came from, and to always remember who gave me my first opportunity. I am so happy to see Steven Spielberg here tonight,” Quan said. “When I started my career as a child actor in ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,’ I felt so very lucky to have been chosen. As I grew older, I started to wonder if that was it, if that was just luck. For so many years, I was afraid I had nothing more to offer. … Thankfully, more than 30 years later, two guys thought of me. They remembered that kid, and they gave me an opportunity to try again.”

Let’s hope by next year, should the ceremony get another telecast, the HFPA feels itcan loosen up enough to give us whatit’s good at — an entertainingly irrelevant and irreverent awards show.

  • Mick LaSalle
    Mick LaSalleMick LaSalle is The San Francisco Chronicle's film critic. Email: mlasalle@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @MickLaSalle