“你不hyper-decant吗?你只是doing regular decanting?”

Connor Roy has just finished whirring a bottle of Burgundy in his blender — presumably to aerate it? — and he is shocked, shocked, that his sister, Shiv, does not treat her own wine with this level of care.

This moment from a recent episode of HBO’s “Succession,” which concludes its second season on Sunday, Oct. 13, is privileged-class gaslighting at its finest. We laugh at Connor’s ridiculousness, his weirdest of possible flexes. But then we pause. We examine the smug, confident smile on his face, his expensive blender and haircut. Wait. Is hyper-decanting a thing? Are we just hooting rubes, and is this another one of those secret handshakes of the mega-rich?

我们都应该过度努力吗？

If I could pick an emblem for our decade, this would be it: Connor Roy with his blender full of Burgundy, i.e., a member of the billionaire class doing something incredibly stupid and then persuading us, the plebes, that maybe actually it’s really smart, that we’re the stupid ones for not “getting it.”

It’s 2019, and you’d like to think that we’ve been inured to this type of thing by now, but wine snobbery is a particularly insidious (if mild) form of class warfare. It’s easy to fall prey to it. In the hands of the connoisseur class, wine becomes a weapon: an intimidating, rarefied thing, beyond our ken. A reminder of our inferiority.

有钱的人喜欢为建立自己的优势武器化葡萄酒，这并不是什么新鲜事物，罗伊（Roy）的家人和轨道上的家族都可以轻松地做到这一点。洛根·罗伊（Logan Roy）告诉他的银行家，他对他的银行家说：“看看我正在为您服务的葡萄酒。“我很胜利和用餐。”你喝了我昂贵的酒。现在你欠我。

“So kind of your parents to have paid for all of this delicious wine,” Lady Caroline tells her soon-to-be-son-in-law, Tom, at his rehearsal dinner. “So clever the way they’re letting every single person know.” You think you’re one of us, now that you’re marrying my daughter. But you’re not.

葡萄酒的消费是一种奢侈品，仅仅是因为好葡萄酒（由工匠生产商都以认真的方式制造）可能很昂贵。但是是关于葡萄酒的势力吗？很粗糙。不必要和不可原谅。除非 …

当然，除非我是势利小人。我的内心纯洁，当然可以将自己的葡萄酒知识武器化，以击败强大而残酷的葡萄酒 - 或者，当我坐下来重新观看“继任”的每一集时，我告诉自己，我可能有点尖锐。

My goal? To prove, in the immortal words of Countess Luann, that money can’t buy you class, and the Roys are know-nothing wine fakers. And so I began to meticulously record all of “Succession’s” wine goofs and gaffes. Comrades, there were many. Here are a few of my favorites.

葡萄酒gaffe＃1：康纳公然滥用勃艮第

Back to hyper-decanting: When Connor describes the process, it almost sounds like he knows what he’s talking about. There are, after all, many benefits to decanting wine: removing sediment from old bottles, softening and deepening the aromas and helping the wine to open up through aeration. Could a blender help?

“这是犯罪分子，”美国烹饪学院的葡萄酒和饮料研究教授克里斯蒂·杜福（Christie Dufault），也是RN74和Gary Danko等高级餐厅的前侍酒师和葡萄酒总监。“任何勃艮第或任何其他优质葡萄酒的生产商都会吓到这一概念。”

That Connor is pulverizing a bottle of Burgundy, a region that lays claim to many of the most cultish and expensive wines in the world, is particularly hilarious. “I know people who buy a nice bottle of Burgundy and won’t touch it for a couple of months because they think that, after driving it home in their car, the wine needs to settle down,” Dufault laughs.

It’s a great point: Think of all the time, money and care winemakers spend cellaring and shipping their wines, making sure that they’re never exposed to temperature or humidity swings, extended daylight or jostling. Some importer of Grand Cru Burgundy just paid for a temperature-controlled shipping container to transport his wine across the Atlantic. Then Connor Roy blitzed it in a blender, heating the wine and pounding it against plastic, to create a frothy, lukewarm mess.

加上受伤的侮辱，康纳甚至不知道如何正确握或品尝葡萄酒。他用双手抓住杯子的碗，像套索一样旋转 - “牛仔摇滚”，用杜福的短语。然后，他仍然将玻璃杯放在碗上而不是茎上，他s饮了。

这里有太多反对。首先，有史以来两只葡萄酒的唯一原因是葡萄酒太冷了，您想迅速将其升至温度，以更好地欣赏它的口味和香气。康纳（Connor）的葡萄酒只是在Vitamix中嗡嗡作响，所以，嗯，我认为它不需要进一步变暖。第二：旋转一杯葡萄酒是释放香气的有用方法，但是康纳以一种完全表现的方式做到了这一点，玻璃杯处于胸部水平，远离他的鼻子。他从来没有停下来闻起来。最后 - 是的，这很琐碎，但是我想您已经期望从我身上到现在 - 碗里拿着酒杯是一个很大的禁忌。

杜福说：“我很早就教我的学生，用茎的酒杯是一种工具，就像叉子或刀一样，他们应该学会正确使用它们。”握住茎玻璃杯的正确方法是通过茎（在某些情况下，也许是在底座上），但绝不是通过碗来加速热量从您的手转移到葡萄酒的。另外，正如杜福（Dufault）指出的那样，“谁想在整个玻璃杯上看到您的油腻的小指纹？”

葡萄酒治疗＃2：Roys的坏玻璃器皿

Roys喝了很多香槟 - 至少，我们认为它是香槟，因为它闪闪发光并脱落了长笛。也就是说，毕竟是香槟长笛的吸引力：这是一个明确而有效的象征，表明您正在喝些花哨的东西，并且很可能很昂贵。

Sadly for the Roys, those crystal flutes also signal how behind the times they are when it comes to Champagne. Flutes are, to put it bluntly, très passé.

杜福尔说：“任何对葡萄酒知识的知识或在凉爽城市的凉爽餐厅里度过的任何人都会看到侍酒师，服务器和葡萄酒导演不再真正使用长笛。”杜福（Dufault）所谓的“通用”或“郁金香形”酒杯，例如薄唇Zalto Universal Wine玻璃杯（您将用来供应静态酒的玻璃器皿）。

Dufault first noticed the shift away from flutes in the early 2000s. She said that producers told her that flutes are beautiful, but they came to learn that if you really want to smell the aromas, to volatilize the aromatic esters in these wines, then a wider bowl is better. Put plainly: To taste wine, you must smell wine, and it’s damned hard to smell anything from a tiny-mouthed flute.

Wine gaffe #3: Stewy throws around buzzwords but doesn’t understand the nuance

当第一季结束时，在英国的乡村举行湿婆婚礼的婚礼时，肯德尔（Kendall）和史温（Stewy）想庆祝他们计划收购Waystar的收购时，Stewy建议他们弹进村庄的酒吧喝酒。肯德尔犹豫 - “这里？”- stewy戏弄他是一个势利小人。他笑着说：“我认为我们可以勇敢一些非老式的香槟。”这是一个有趣的挖掘，如果有点奇怪 - 他真的认为他们会在随机的乡村酒吧里找到香槟吗？- 但这也揭示了他对葡萄酒的便捷理解。

复古香槟是指一年收获的葡萄酒，而非老式的香槟是多年来碱性葡萄酒的混合物。的确，优质的老式香槟通常比非老式的香槟更难找到，并且更昂贵，部分原因是香槟屋的生产较少，并且因为许多生产商保留了他们最高质量的葡萄用于复古装瓶。但是，年份香槟作为一个类别并不比非老式香槟更好。这就像说溜溜球的独奏表演比他是四重奏的一部分或他是主要大提琴手的交响曲的音乐会“更好”。一个并不比另一个更好。他们只是不同的经历。

如果您不想真正学习各种香槟生产商及其产品的麻烦，那么购买“老式”葡萄酒是确保一定质量的一种方法。但这是假设您首先是从优质生产商那里购买的。这意味着您错过了许多传奇的非老式瓶子。我想为我们其他人提供更多的克鲁格“格兰德·卡维”。

葡萄酒gaffe＃4：肯德尔吹嘘他的父亲花了80,000美元在葡萄酒上

在一个纪念父亲50年的盛会期间，肯德尔（Kendall）登上舞台，以“ L到O.G.”（O.G.）提供。- 现在完全由模因的说唱致敬。肯德尔（Kendall）在一节与葡萄酒有关的经文中吹嘘父亲的“ A1评分，80k葡萄酒”。

Spending tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars on wine is a common enough hobby of the too-too-rich, but here’s my beef: In an earlier episode, at the home of the Roys’ rivals, the Pierces, Marcia compliments her hostess’ wine while complaining that Logan’s cellar is “all New World.”

好友，如果您花了8万美元，那是一瓶不旧的，法国人和/或从沉船中挽救的瓶子，那就花费太多了。葡萄酒书呆子可以与我在这个上面打架 - 我们可以谈论Penfolds的“ Amboule”，这是一瓶六位数的澳大利亚葡萄酒，或者是纳帕的尖叫鹰从葡萄酒拍卖中拿出500,000美元的赤霞珠。但是我非常喜欢这样的观念，即大个子本人洛根·罗伊（Logan Roy）对他所有的新世界葡萄酒都遇到了不好的交易。

如果他只知道，他会如此讨厌它。

“演替”：季节大结局。晚上9点10月13日，星期日，在HBO上。